it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
