Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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