Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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