happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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