this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
