Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
