Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so let's talk penis.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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