I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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