in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
