Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Non-Jews are for practice
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
