Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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