its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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