so let's talk penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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