Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize