Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
