Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
