I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize