These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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