That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
