He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
