none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
