i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
