I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
