i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
