I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
