she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize