Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
