I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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