the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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