I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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