it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
