i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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