his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize