...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
