I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
