Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
