wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she looked like the before picture.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
