went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
