its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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