it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
