i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
