ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this beer tastes like vomit already
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
