im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
