I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
