the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
