Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
