I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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