I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
