I'm eating all of the evidence.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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