Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
