Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
