their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
