she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
