did you get engaged???
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
