brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
