How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
