Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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