Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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