I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
