so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
