i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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