i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
