You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need to align my fucking chakras
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