omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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