Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
