first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
