if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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