so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
